These past 5 months have absolutely been the hardest few months that my family has ever been through. Satan is definitely a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. So many life changes have occurred, friendships lost, tears cried...
WHAT? This was part of God's plan? Are you kidding me? Do you hate us God? Are you still THERE? Did you FORGET ME?
These are all thoughts that consistently have burrowed their way deep into my heart and mind. They cloud my vision-- they make my life seem unbearable at times. They make me angry. They make me bitter. They make me hate. They bring dark things in my heart to the surface...that I never even knew existed inside of me. I have been so down and so depressed at times that all I want to do is just lay in the bed and cry-- and desperately ache for my family. It seems like it was just ONE THING AFTER ANOTHER, to the point where I just wanted to give up-- throw in the towel on church, on people, on working hard for anything or anybody-- and build my cocoon around me and my husband and family here in Chattanooga, TN-- far away from anyone that could hurt us (or so I thought). My God, my God, why have you forsaken us? What could possibly come out of this that is GOOD, or GLORIFYING to You?
O ye, of little faith...
Through all the pain...through all the tears... through all the heartache....God is STILL good. It has taken me five long months to be able to say that I can LIFT my EYES to the HILLS-- because my help is coming! Come let us WORSHIP the KING! I type with tears as I know that even though people can hurt us-- and even though friendships will disintegrate-- even though things don't work out the way we want them to-- NO, in ALL these things, we are MORE (not just kinda), MORE than conquerors through Him who loved us (Romans 8:37). For I am CONVINCED that neither death, nor life (or pain or hurt), neither angels or demons, neither the PRESENT nor the future, nor any powers (including church or people), neither height nor depth, nor anything (or anybody) else in ALL creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus (MY) Lord! (Romans 8:38-39)
I don't know why in the heck things happen the way they do. I don't know how the Lord will be glorified-- or how people will see His power through all of this? But there are a few things I do know and will proclaim through faith: I am chosen as a child of the King, holy and blameless, adopted by Him through His blood and stamped with a mark of the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:4-6). I know that I did not receive a spirit of slavery (to anyone or anything) leading to fear, but the spirit of adoption as sons and daughters by which I AM ALLOWED TO CRY, ABBA! FATHER! (Romans 8:15) I know that from NOW ON, I will strive to be like Job and lift my praise to the God of Heaven that has brought me out of despair and into an eternity of victory! The past is the past and I know that there is a plan and a calling for ALL of us-- disagreements occur, hearts are hardened, feelings are hurt, and things are broken. But thankfully for ALL OF US, there is One they call the Healer (Isaiah 53:5, 2 Chronicles 7:14).
Satan tries to constantly remind me of the past. But I urge you, Christian, to join with me, and just remind him of his future.
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